Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Randomize
