so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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