Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
