You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
