I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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