there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
