I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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