TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
