Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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