We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
