i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
