Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
