Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
try to milk me bitch
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
