I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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