I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
