Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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