I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
