Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
