We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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