so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
