did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
