Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sex in a hospital.. check
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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