I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
