does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
