my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
