I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
