i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Even my vagina gasped.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
