wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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