never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
