remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
