dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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