Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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