I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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