You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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