listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
