@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
