im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
