Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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