my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
