Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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