would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
