How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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