so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
