im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
