is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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