The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
