yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
