I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
