I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
