I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
worst night to have a conscience
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
