For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize