Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
