Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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