Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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