hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
