He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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