Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
third nipple confirmed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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