I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize