I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize