we have pet lesbian snakes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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