Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
