hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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