Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just threw up on my dentist
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize