I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The feeling are messing with the penis
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
