whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I would fuck him just for his dog
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
