mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
