i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
