Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize