remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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