Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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