look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
